patience is a virture?

Right ok so... patience is something everyone wishes they had more of. I definitely have asked for more patience more times than i can remember. And I think I have been given a true test of patience and most definitely a test of trust and faith.

We all expect things to happen when we want them on our time schedule. But thats not reality. Learning to trust and have patience is hard and for someone like me who tends to be a bit impatient at times its a nightmare. haha Something I have prayed for, for a long time has come into my life. Or at least I think it has. I dont know for sure. I have faith that it definitely could be. And now that its somewhat here I want it all completely and now. But no, I must continue to trust and wait. Honestly it not as gruesome as I am making it out to be, but it is not easy. For one, I have no idea what im doin. I know that waiting is for the best, probably because of that reason. I dont know what im doing nor do i have any experience to back it up. I might lose my head and thats not a good.

God has a plan I am sure of it. And I thankful it is in my best interest. I like the quote... the Will of God will never lead you where the Grace of God will not follow you. Makes sense. I am very blessed and thankfule to God for taking care of me and knowing whats best because I know i sure dont. Even tho I think i do and I sure do fight Him on it sometimes, but I do my best to remember that He is in control and if I would only step back and let Him lead me, I wouldnt have to worry. Life wont necessarily be easier, but I would have a peace that would surpass anything unpleasant.

So many thoughts I am unable to express. uggh if only i knew how to put them into words. Luckily God knows. and I guess thats what is most important anyways.

Two more days and then i have my first orientation for my first real summer job. kinda scary but Kendra will be with me and I am so thankful for that! June 2 is when I officially start and so does my summer classes. im in for a looooooong summer. But i have some cool people in my life to help make it more fun! Remember keep praying!

ok so..

Ok so, honestly if i plan on anything it never happens. This in itself is not a bad thing, just something i have to remember so i dont get soo attached. So i was supposed to be living in this house and what not. Even cleaned it, moved in and was getting it ready for my other roommate. Well needless to say the family changed their minds last minute and now we must move. haha I cant help but laugh. So im looking for a new place, but im not worried about finding one so it will be ok.

hmm.. lets see. In a week I will leaving for memphis for orientation for my internship this summer. Im excited and nervous. It will be a true learning experience. But luckily my friend Kendra will be there with me.

So anyway, I feel as though my faith is being tested these days. What with the house and with people i am coming into contact with recently. I know in my heart that everything will work out whether i realize it or not. I feel as though it is time to open up and just see what happens. I mean I wont know anything unless i try. Its just hard to think that it wont be mutual, but what I have to remember is God is in control and His plan is perfect. He knows whats best and I honestly want to do His will. I just pray he be in His will for me. So yeah.. God is in control.

Well, I take the GRE tomorrow. Kinda scary! But it will be ok. If I need to take it over I at least have time so all is well!

Anyway.. im off to workout, clean, and eat. Keep on praying!