Bones

I have a bone to pick with the world....

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

I know sometimes I have unrealistic expectations, but seriously, what are ya doing? I tend to see the best in people and see them for what they could be based off what they've shown to me, so I know it is in them. The thing is, it's like these people dont see it themselves. They continue to choose to act less than they truly are. They give in to worldly things, they are double-minded, they refuse to grow up, they hear and believe but they don't act, and they are just plain old lazy and don't wanna do what's hard and what might truly test them. I know it is not easy... but try! Why do people say one thing, and do another. Or portray one image only to really be living the life of another. You cannot be a true Christian and participate in worldly activities... how is that being a follower of God... ummm its NOT! You can't have your cake AND eat it too! Sorry, it just doesn't work that way. You have got to make a committment and stand/stick to it. Oh sorry to the male readers out there, I know committment is something hard for you guys to grasp, but grow up and be the MAN God meant for you to be. Sure it is hard, you have to lead... and Im sorry that is your burden to bear, but be a MAN and bear it... God is there to help.. and He also graciously gave you a helper... WOMAN!

I am sick of seeing my friends say/act one way(especially around me) and then go off and drink, party, go places they shouldn't, say inappropriate things, not make an effort to go to church, and just really do whatever they please whenever they want. IM SICK OF IT! You are lying to yourself... you think you are fooling me and God??? HA thats a load of poo! Who you are in the dark is who you really are! What are you doing when you think no one is looking? You know I will accept everyone... I always have... but I just don't understand why people and unfortunately close friends think they can be one way around me and then think I dont really know who you are (sorry technology has given us myspace and facebook - and people post pics and gossip). You should never give anyone a reason to doubt where you allegiance lies!!!!! Please just be honest with me and yourself. I would much rather be a friend to someone who can be who they are all the time even if who you are is not a follower of God... rather than one who is pretending to be a follower of God. I have a good mind to not talk to you people anymore... wow wouldn't that narrow down my friends. Im not perfect and I dont pretend to be.. I struggle with things.. mostly inwardly rather than outwardly.. but Im not gonna lie about it. I am a sinner just like everyone else Im not gonna hide it, but I will not let it take over. I believe we must constantly be taking steps to growing closer to God... cant do that in a bar... or surrounding yourself with provacative and sexual media.

Oh goodness I am preaching now, but I cant help it... my eyes were open to see several of my close friends differently... and I am left wondering if there really are true Christians out there. Do people still hold true to their standards anymore?? Or will we all gradually just throw them out the door? Man what will the world look like in 5 to 10 years... Im afraid. I am just thankful this world is not my home...

life is hard.. so get a helmet!

First of all, everyone should check out my sis's blog to see way cool pics from vacation and the top 9 most funny moments from our vaca.. haha sooo funny!

Secondly, life is hard... so many decisions and choices. So many people that come and go throughout your life. So many memories that are constantly being forgotten, remembered, and made. So many trials and uncertainties confusing the path you thought you were on. So many lessons to be learned. So many people you wish you could save. So much time lost and many opportunities missed. Looking at things in this light makes me glad this world is not our permanent home or all that there is for us. Im not sure when or how it happened, but I have discovered I have some very cynical thoughts rolling around my head these days. I am working on it!

I have officially made some very hard decisions about my future this weekend. Though I am very excited about them and the possibilities that this new challenge will bring, I am also very sad to see things I have cared about slip away. Sometimes I just don't understand this life and the people in it.

So, anyway I am officially working towards being a registered Art Therapist.. woo! New job, new apartment, new roomy, new city, new everything! I pray God is there every step of the way.

what to do...

Last year I found an accredited online Graduate program for Art Therapy. I kind of put in the back-burner of my mind, but recently I have found myself wondering if I am taking the right direction with my career. Becoming an LPC is still something I would like to do, but I have always wanted to be an Art Therapist. Art is something I truly enjoy, and I believe I am good at it. Why not use my talent to help people. I stopped doing it as an undergrad because the art projects were so instense every week that art became work and not fun anymore. As a graduate student it is not about doing the art project yourself, but being able to assess and help other use those medias therapeutically. Very interesting dont you think? The best part about this program is it is online, specifically designed for those who don't have an accredited institution for art therapy nearby or those who can't take extended time off for school. Perfect! It is a 48 hour program instead of 60 and after I graduate I will need 1500 paid supervised hours of direct client counseling and then I can take an exam and be a certified art therapist or an ATR-CB. Then I can do private practice, contract with hospitals or schools, the sky is the limit. The money is not bad either. Something to think about for sure! But how to I decide. It is risky!

Also, my mom's flip house is for sale and I we have ran the numbers and I can actually buy her house. It is such a cute house and perfect for a started home. I am seriously tempted to buy it. Why throw away my money when I can invest it. Again risky.

The question is, do I want to transfer schools and/or move towns? I have been here before and my answer then was yes, and it was the best decision I have made yet. Now I feel as though I am placed in a similar situation. But this time, living where I am is not that bad. My school is excellent, and my job is decent and my apt is awesome. My family is not there which is really hard. My best friend will be leaving in Dec for nursing school in Nashville most likely. So then I think, what does Chatt have that Nashville doesnt? Lookout mt and the aquarium? haha. Oh decisions... I am not prepared to make any decisions yet that is for sure, I continue to pray God leads me in the direction HE wants me to go. Are these desires in my heart for a reason, or are they just distractions? Only time will tell I guess.....

For now, Chattanooga is where I am meant to be. I am very blessed for what God has given me and am thankful for all the friends I have here. If there is one thing I have learned and taken to heart through my job, having supports whether it be family or close friends is incredibly important for one's individual well-being. Seriously. Everyone needs support in some for or fashion, and I feel for those who do no have supports. Christians are the ones specifically that should take care of that. Why else would be be called to take care of the widows and the orphans.. they do not have family supports! duh!

Oh I could go on forever.... I need to go to bed.. I have a really long day ahead of me. bleh!

time marches on

Well... here I am several months down the road finally updating. Changes are happening daily. Im experiencing new things all the time. Some are good and some I could do without. ha. I am officially an inhabitant of Chattanooga, TN. It is funny, when I was little I remember thinking how could anyone live here, it is so dirty. Now I live here. I said the same thing about Tech too. I never wanted to go there because it was "techy" and nerdy. Now Im a TTU Alum. I guess I should just stop saying Im not going to do something because as it turns out I probably will.

I don't have anything profound to say really, just updating I guess. My job is going well. I have days where it's ok and others when I could quit on the stop. I guess that is true with most any job. School is hard, but I enjoy what I am studying. I wish my job wasn't so demanding so I could put more effort towards it. I recently went to a Franklin Covey training in Knoxville to help with planning and time management so maybe I can apply what I learned to my life and have more time for my studies. ha.

Many lessons have been learned in the past few months. I am rediscovering many things. I have been going through a couple devotional books to enhance my spiritual growth. I really love daily devotional books. I can't wait to do them with my husband someday. Continuous self-discovery is so important. It allows us to examine who we are, where we've been, and who we want to become. Not being stagnet is key. It takes discipline and will. It is not easy to make changes in your life and stick to them day in and day out. Life happens. Not giving up and continually striving to become the person you desire to be will be a journey undescribable and worthwhile. God is truly AWEsome. I know I forget that often. No matter what happens He is there even when everyone on earth fails us (which they will because we are human and make mistakes).

I don't know what I'm trying to say, haha. I'm sure I could ramble on, but I wont. I had a good visit with my aunt the other day after my training, and if there is one thing that I have learn in the past year is family is so important. Don't take them for granted, because they are the ones that stand by you and are there for you. I'll end on that note.......

Bittersweeeet

Wow, so I havent updated in forever.. whoops!

Well, despite everything this semester(which I could write a book on) life is going well. I am getting ready to graduate, Lord willing I pass all my classes, and then Im headed to UTC for grad school in the Community Counseling program. How exciting! And so scary! I just signed the Lease to my new apartment in Chattanooga. Which was a pretty scary thing. Its right next to the mall and everything I could need, as well as a church I think I might like to attend. Oh, and I got my key and pool pass. Haha. Yeah I think I have made the right decision. In my heart I think I knew it was where I wanted/would end up, but my rationalizing and over analytical side had to make sure that I was make the decision for the right reasons and was what God wanted for me as well. So many things have fallen into place since my first leap towards chattanooga. I had received any call backs from any companies about jobs until the day after I put a down-payment on an apartment. Coiencidence? I have no idea...

I have had one bad job interviewing experience, but I have another one with Youth Villages tomorrow so I am hoping that it goes much better. I really hope I get the job with YV because it would be great experience, with a decent pay for my education/experience background, and really good benefits.. like paying for grad school tuition! How can I go wrong?! Lord willing things will go well tomorrow!

Things with family and friends are going well. Everyday in a new day and I am just taking things one day at a time! I have recently gotten back into painting, and I forget how much I enjoy it! I definitely will have to do more, and for myself. Im learning the importance of finding/making time for yourself. It becomes easy to lose yourself with so much stress and stuff going on, but if you dont take time to take care of yourself then only bad things will happen. Trust me!

So yeah, tomorrow I have my LAST class of Undergrad ever! how sad and yet so exciting. It hasnt quite hit me yet, but Im sure it will soon. Then Friday I have to go to stupid driving school, and then I get to go on to Chattown and start painting and getting my apartment ready to move into! Then hopefully somewhere in there I will finish my two research papers. Ive started them both, but now I just gotta finish them.. haha. Otherwise I really dont graduate! Then monday I have one exam and tuesday i have two then Im done! Katie Mitch and Jacey will be in town this coming week and so they are going to help me move the red couch into my new apartment and maybe some of my other furniture. Then Thursday I have graduation rehearsal, and SATURDAY IS GRADUATION!!!!!!! How exciting and so scary! I just cannot believe it.

Life holds some very exciting and challenging times ahead, I just pray I keep God close to me and never lose sight of Him and my goals. If only there were words for all the emotions and general junk going on in my head!

Update

Ok so It has definitely been a long time since I last blogged! whoops! haha

So first of all my internship this summer working with Youth Villages was one of the most amazing experiences Ive had! I worked at a girls group home and I learned so much! I just cannot even put into words how greatly it impacted me. I went into the internship thinking ok here is my chance to really see if this is the right field for me to be in. Can I handle it? Can I still have a life? Can I keep it from taking over my life? YES! I can. Or at least I did this summer. Yes is was stressful at times, and hard, and many times is didnt wanna go to work, but once I was there it was good. Those girls are so great even when they doing what you told them not too, or are arguing, or just being annoying, they are good girls. And I am thankful to have met each and everyone of them! I look forward to finding a job now that I know a can and am good at this! I love peope and helping them!

So now school is officially starting today. I am pretty excited. It will be good to be in a routine and learning beneficial things again! This is officially my last semester, and as long as I stay on task I will be graduating Lord willing Dec 13! So everyone save the date! This will prove to be a pretty busy semester. I am in the process of appying to Grad schools and then come October I will be appyling for jobs and sending out my resume! Woo! I cannot believe this is my last semester. I dont feel old enough! Where did the time go?! UGH! It just flies by! But so goes life! Just gotta make the most of everyday! So here is my schedule:

MW
1:25-2:20 Parenting and Child Guidance
2:30-3:50 German Culture and Society(stupid humanities!)
4:00-6:50 Families: Normative/Catastrophic Issues(only meets once a week)

TR
1:30-2:50 Intro-Therapeutic Techniques (so excited about this class!)
3:00-4:20 Speech (bleh yes Im a senior and just now taking this class haha)

Then I have a Culminating Project combining my two concentrations that meets mainly online. Not sure when I present or how that all works yet!

So yeah.. Looks like it will be a good semester! Im excited to see what God has in store for me. I know that it is only with Him that I can do all these things! Im so thankful for that.

Well, now I must go get ready for my first class. Hope everyone has a great week!

Goal

So my goals for the summer are as follows:

-Pray daily
-Read my Bible daily
-Work to always improve my relationship with God and others
-Improve my faith
-Trust that things will work out for the best no matter what happens
-Be brave
-Not be afraid to say the things on my heart
-Be open
-Encourage those around me
-Workout everyday
-Work hard at my job
-Be a good example
-Manage my time well
-Make As in my summer classes
-Budget and save my money
-Not worry about things I cannot control
-Have fun
-Relax
-Remember to take life one day at a time

I know this summer will not be an easy due to certain factors, but I have to trust that in the end it will all be worth it because God is in ontrol and He's taking care of me.